CAR BASHING

Gearheads love cars, and we love everything about them, whether it’s the thought of doing donuts at a Wal-Mart parking lot at two in the morning, being left on the side of the road with a broken fan belt , or looking back at our ride before entering the house at the end of the day. However, just because we love everything on wheels does not mean we love anything on wheels because we all have that one particular car that, for rational or irrational reasons, we just hate. It could be because we had a bad experience with the car, spent more time under it than driving it, or the shape of its taillights offended us, whatever the reason is everyone has at least one car we love to bash.

            For the most part, the Toyota Pruis wins the election on being voted most likely to be run off the road, because it’s like the unwanted party guest that drinks all the beer and they lectures us about how wine is better. Personally whenever I see a Pruis with a dented fender I get a sense that someone has committed some good old fashion street justice and admire it for a split second. This car isn’t number one on my list, that pot holed ridded parking space is reversed for… the Honda Civic. Every time I say this in public I get one of two responds, “Aw why, there such great cars!” or “… I drive a Honda Civic”. I have nothing against the build quality of these cars because let’s face it, Honda builds a car like Mother Nature builds a cockroach. My beef with this car started in 2001 when the first Fast and Furious movie was released in theatres and started the tuner movement.

            After 2001 I started noticing more and more Civics being “modified” with the traditional ricer equipment: stereo sound system decals (for added horsepower), park bench styled spoiler, coffee can exhaust tip, and the lightshow from down under neon lights. These little buggers started popping out everywhere and buzzing around town which left a bad impression on me by the time I started driving years later. In high school I joined the never ending war of muscle vs. import and the school’s auto shop was the battleground for displacement debates. Since Civics are incredibly common I’ve had opportunities to drive them to maybe understand what people saw in them. First time I drove one, that belonged to one of my cousins, it was a riced out 2001 coupe. The car even had a fire extinguisher dressed up to look like a can of NOS, and driving it was like being forced to watch a documentary about nothing while painting a wall the color beige. The car feels well built but it feels like just a means of transportation, not a car that has soul and gives you some kind of emotional feeling when you drive it, it’s completely forgettable. Driving a Civic is like eating a dollar burger, yes it is cheap and it’ll get you full but it you could eat a steak instead, you would.

            People will say I am being too judgmental about the car, but isn’t that the point of a personal opinion? I do not like Honda Civics because they are the poster child for the ricers and they just annoy me, it is irrational and I am aware of it.  Someone’s reason for hating a car does not have to make sense to anyone but the person bashing on that car and it is just another example of the Gearhead lifestyle.

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